(Scene: bare stage; two men, Estiegan and Vlatz, the latter sitting three feet up in a weird-looking tree about five feet high, the former fifteen feet away, staring into empty space. A long silence.)

VLATZ, suddenly standing up: The ladder, I need the ladder!

EST: Hunh?

VLAD: The ladder! I'm coming down!

EST: Oh. Right. (Goes offstage, returns pulling a long ladder that he points into the tree; it takes a while for the two of them to get it right; it is, of course, much more horizontal than vertical. VLATZ crawls hesitantly out on it, then swings his body underneath it and awkwardly lets himself down. Rising, he brushes himself off. Lengthy pause.) Well?

VLAD: Hmmm? (They stare at each other.)

est You were up there three days. (looks at watch) and three hours, twenty two minutes.

vlatz, with sudden enthusiasm: Yes, yes, thinking--thinking. And, Vlatz--something clicked! I have solved our problem!

est, starting to sob: Thank God. (They hug each other. Then Vlatz sits down gainst the tree and pulls out a book, which he begins reading. est stares at him for several minutes.) I knew you could do it, I knew you could.

vlatz: hunh?

est: I knew you'd find your way to a masterful solution.

vlatz: Oh, right.

est: WHAT WAS IT, YOU GODDAMNED IMBECILE? WHY ARE WE WAITING FOR GODOT?! (He pronounces the name "guh DAHT," with a hard t.)

vlatz: Oh, yes. That. It's quite interesting, really. I determined we lack sufficient data to discover that. Hence, and this is the clever part, we must cease waiting for Godot! Instead, we must pursue him! (pause) You see, don't you?! (long pause)

est: Ah, yes! We could then ask him why we are waiting for him. (Takes out notebook and pencil.) Okay, spell it out. What should we do first?

vlatz: Specify his identity I think would be a good first step.

est: Right. Uh, how do you spell his name? vlatz: I'm not sure whether it begins "Fh" or "Hf," but I know it's got three o's in a row and ends with a "k."

est: First name?

vlatz: Uknown.

est: Gnder? (long pause)

vlatz: Now that you ask, it suddenly strikes me that I have no idea. Ordinarily, I would have said male, but sex-roles are changing so much of late, I . . . Not that I don't believe that women can't be active participants in just about anything, and more than worthy of being waited decades for. But, dammit, Estiegen, you know as well as I do what our generation did to us.

est: It would help to know.

vlatz: Perhaps logic would lead us to an intelligent guess. For whom would we more likely be waiting, a man or a woman?

est: That would depend on whether we're heterosexual or not, wouldn't it?

vlatz: Estiegen! Surprisingly good thinking! A sexual intent had never occurred to me, but it makes sense, given our biology.

est: So, which are we?

est: Which what?

vlatz: Are we homosexual or heterosexual?

est. Hmmm. Intriguing question. Ordinarily, I would say that our being married would make us heterosexual, but the way the world is going, even that's not conclusive evidence any longer.

vlatz: Well, think about it. Meanwhile, identifying where we might find this person might prove a profitable undertaking. (long pause) It's beginning to seem we've only replaced one futile activity with another. All we really have is this single name we can't spell.

est: don't belittle yourself, Vlatz. It's a name we can't completely spell. You came close, though.

Vlatz, sincerely: You are a good fellow, old comrade.

Est: I was once able to spell, "fruit." (long pause) Another ascent of the tree? If at first, and all that?

Vlatz: It wasn't at first, it was more like at ten thousandth. I have to admit, I'm discouraged.

Est: It's better to be lucky than stupid.

Vlatz: No doubt. But maybe if I changed my shirt . . .

Est: How would you do that?

Vlatz: I'm not sure, actually. Perhaps by urinating on it. (Black-out as he removes his shirt.